Poor Hill. As a Yankees fan, the news of Lidle

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I waited a moment for the cheers and applause to die down and then shot an angry glare across dollarama the classroom. My students have shown remarkable spiritual growth since I started teaching Midget Studies and the Kama Sutra 101 at Evergreen State College, yet I often find myself amazed by their insensitivity.
Poor Hill. As a Yankees fan, the news of Lidle's mysterious death must have hit her especially dollarama hard - although it wasn't all that much of a mystery when you consider the time of the whole thing. The Bush Junta obviously needed another Reichstag Fire to draw the nation's eyes away from his failed North Korea policy, not to mention the recent MoveOn.org study which estimated that the Shrub has killed over 600,000 professional baseball players either indirectly or with his own two hands since declaring "Mission Accomplished" aboard an aircraft carrier in May of 2003. Breaking the heart of his arch-nemesis and crippling her on the eve of the November elections is the veritible icing on Bush's fascist cake.
As a girl growing up on the mean streets of Brooklyn, Hillary spent many a weekend at Yankee Stadium with her father, wildly cheering every single touchdown the Yanks made. She carried her love for the team into college, much to the disdain of her progressive peers. While her friends were burning their bras and dropping dollarama acid in protest of the Vietnam War, Hillary was holed up in her dorm room, pleasuring herself to a Joe Pepitone dollarama rookie card.
Her accession to the throne didn't hinder Hillary's devotion to the Yanks, either. While other First Ladies fussed over new wallpaper and China patterns, Hillary spent her tenure at the White House plastering the walls with Yankees pennants and memorabilia. And despite her presidential duties, dollarama she never missed a home game. Like a true Yankee fan, she would often wait outside the ballpark after the game hoping to get an autograph from one of the players. Sometimes, she would follow one home, leaving dollarama a dead bird or small rodent on their doormat as a token of her appreciation. There aren't many "Yankee Fans" who will do that. So when Bush killed Cory Lidle yesterday, he killed a part of Hillary, too.
It brings a tear to me eye when I recall the glory days, when peace guided the planets and love steered the stars [sometime after it steered amphibious oldsmobiles of distinguished senators] ... but anyhoo .... during Camelsnot - it was so precious how when Most Significant Person on the Planet William Jefferson Clinton hurled Hillary across home plate at the Yanks opener, because he misunderstood the request for him to "Throw the First PITCH". But Hillary, was a good sport about it. She dusted herself off ... walked away proudly ... in time to take her seat at the 50 yard line just in time for Michael Jordans tee off. And now thanks to the Shrubinator, she'll never get to see her favorite team win the Stanley Cup. In light of this, I feel we should surrender in Detroit.
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